Even
After
All this time
The sun never says to the earth,
"You owe
Me."
Look
What happens
With a love like that,
It lights the
Whole
Sky.
Jun 16, 2009
Perfection
I am reading a book by Wayne Dyer- his interpretation of the Tao Te Ching. He has referenced quotes from various mystic poets. This particular one speaks particulary to me by 14th century poet Hafiz:
Jun 11, 2009
A gasp of... water!
I almost died today. Well, sortof. No, I didn't go to the tunnel of light or have a life review or anything like that. And I am OK with that. I enjoy hearing other's stories about such things.
Today's adventures found me in the Mediterranean, swimming in the delicious salty water, enjoying the crash of the waves as against my body. The waves, I should add were large, and unbeknownst to me the red flags along the beach signaled dangerous currents. It was so wonderful, letting the waves wash over me, that I got completely carried away- no pun intended. I was blissed out, feeling like a child and really alive, jumping into the waves when I remembered the Abraham- Hicks Law of Attraction* metaphor of setting our boats against the stream and how unproductive that is. I could feel in my body how even tho I was enjoying my fun in the water, it was struggle and I was completely fighting against the power of the sea. I thought "I wonder what it would feel like to go along with the current?"
At a certain point I turned to look at the shore and saw that I had been taken quite some distance from the beach. I couldn't see my daughter at all, in fact everyone looked small. I was really far out. I started to tread towards the shore, but found I was powerless against the waves which at that point were huge. I couldn't touch bottom either. It was like my mind split in two. In one half, there was semi-panic: Oh my God, how will I get to shore? An old tape started to play in my head of a similar experience I had when I was 10, which was scary and embarassing. And, what about my baby? I can't die on her!!! The other side of my mind said calmly: It's not your time to die yet. Trust the waves to bring you to shore. They are strong and there is no doubt that they will bring you home.
A large wave overtook me and filled my mouth with water. I went under for what felt like forever. ANGELS!!! I came up and got tossed under again. HELP!!! I knew no one could hear me though, and I was still far away. This happened another time. Violently taken under, and coming up gasping for air, mouth full of water. This is how people die, I thought. A third time I went under. I was starting to feel very tired, for all my attempts at swimming and staying afloat were draining me of energy.
And then a wave picked me up and threw me 7 or 8 feet. And then another, and another. And though I still couldn't touch bottom, there was a rhythm to it. I relaxed a bit, and despite feeling exhausted, I knew I was out of the worst of it, and went along with the waves. After a while I touched the glorious bottom. Slowly I made my way to shore. Exhausted, humbled, and safe. Amen!
Upon reflecting on things, a few thoughts occurred to me. No, not what the heck was I doing? and Oh, that was a whistle I heard! (that all came later) but WOW. Talk about instant manifestation. There I was, in the sea thinking things like how all the answers and possibilities in the universe are contained within, in fact in one simple drop of water because it's all the same, and other thoughts of a rather quantum nature. This followed by, hey, what would it feel like to go with the flow? Ask and you shall receive! And what about those people who really do feel like they are drowning, because they are fighting against what appears to be raging waves that leave them weak and exhausted? Well you could take my story and go all night and make parallels and insights and metaphors, and I invite you to do so, if so inclined.
I am going to bed, with a grateful heart: I am alive.
*for more info on The Law of Attraction I highly recommend Ask and It is Given by Abraham- Hicks. Life changing stuff!
Today's adventures found me in the Mediterranean, swimming in the delicious salty water, enjoying the crash of the waves as against my body. The waves, I should add were large, and unbeknownst to me the red flags along the beach signaled dangerous currents. It was so wonderful, letting the waves wash over me, that I got completely carried away- no pun intended. I was blissed out, feeling like a child and really alive, jumping into the waves when I remembered the Abraham- Hicks Law of Attraction* metaphor of setting our boats against the stream and how unproductive that is. I could feel in my body how even tho I was enjoying my fun in the water, it was struggle and I was completely fighting against the power of the sea. I thought "I wonder what it would feel like to go along with the current?"
At a certain point I turned to look at the shore and saw that I had been taken quite some distance from the beach. I couldn't see my daughter at all, in fact everyone looked small. I was really far out. I started to tread towards the shore, but found I was powerless against the waves which at that point were huge. I couldn't touch bottom either. It was like my mind split in two. In one half, there was semi-panic: Oh my God, how will I get to shore? An old tape started to play in my head of a similar experience I had when I was 10, which was scary and embarassing. And, what about my baby? I can't die on her!!! The other side of my mind said calmly: It's not your time to die yet. Trust the waves to bring you to shore. They are strong and there is no doubt that they will bring you home.
A large wave overtook me and filled my mouth with water. I went under for what felt like forever. ANGELS!!! I came up and got tossed under again. HELP!!! I knew no one could hear me though, and I was still far away. This happened another time. Violently taken under, and coming up gasping for air, mouth full of water. This is how people die, I thought. A third time I went under. I was starting to feel very tired, for all my attempts at swimming and staying afloat were draining me of energy.
And then a wave picked me up and threw me 7 or 8 feet. And then another, and another. And though I still couldn't touch bottom, there was a rhythm to it. I relaxed a bit, and despite feeling exhausted, I knew I was out of the worst of it, and went along with the waves. After a while I touched the glorious bottom. Slowly I made my way to shore. Exhausted, humbled, and safe. Amen!
Upon reflecting on things, a few thoughts occurred to me. No, not what the heck was I doing? and Oh, that was a whistle I heard! (that all came later) but WOW. Talk about instant manifestation. There I was, in the sea thinking things like how all the answers and possibilities in the universe are contained within, in fact in one simple drop of water because it's all the same, and other thoughts of a rather quantum nature. This followed by, hey, what would it feel like to go with the flow? Ask and you shall receive! And what about those people who really do feel like they are drowning, because they are fighting against what appears to be raging waves that leave them weak and exhausted? Well you could take my story and go all night and make parallels and insights and metaphors, and I invite you to do so, if so inclined.
I am going to bed, with a grateful heart: I am alive.
*for more info on The Law of Attraction I highly recommend Ask and It is Given by Abraham- Hicks. Life changing stuff!
Jun 6, 2009
Froth, Anyone?
Today while feasting on croissants in the pasticerria, I saw a father spoon feeding his 2 year old his cappuccino. "What is he thinking?" I inwardly screamed. "How can he give his toddler coffee??" Then I noticed how critical that felt in my body... tense, and judgemental. "Well, " I reasoned, maybe it's not that big of a deal, it's just a spoonful..." and I looked at my own cup topped with a delicious white peak of froth. "It can't be that bad, if the Italians have been doing it for... ever..." and tentatively dug into the steamed milk and offered it to my baby. She gobbled it up and wanted more. And then I realized, she didn't get any caffeine at all. Just the best part.
And I was left with what I desparately needed- the coffee and a mini lesson in broadening my ideas of "acceptable". Sweet indeed.
Jun 3, 2009
Viva l'Italia!
Here I am, along with my 13 month old daughter, visiting our adopted family in Italy. It is gorgeous, warm, lush and green, and I am so thankful to be here. There were minutes, ok, hours and maybe even a day or two, of stress before leaving to prepare for the trip. The washing machine broke, there were a million things to do, buy, and pack (visions of the ever fashionable and elegant Italians dancing in my head), and I had an overwhelming desire to spend quality time with my (slightly brooding and with good reason) partner before our departure.
Then we got to the airport. One umbrella stroller, laptop, videocamera, car seat and army sized backpack later, and we were off. There was the usual stuff that we are all used to since 9-11-...take off your shoes, pull out the liquids, xray the stroller, the laptop, and remove all bracelets and anything else that is metal... I forgot to take out baby's Ibuprofen (she could sprout a tooth in flight, you never know, and can't be too careful!) which triggered a bag search. We had a plane change in NY and as we were ready for take off had to change planes (something about the entertainment system not working). My stroller had been checked. It was not possible to carry everything and the baby. Did I mention she weighs 23 lbs? Blessings be to the wonderful ladies who helped me carry the carseat! There was a moment of sheer panic though: what will I do?
Through the entire trip preparation experience there were times of dear God, how will I pull this off? An interesting thing began to happen. Despite being completely consumed with the task at hand, there was a small voice that kept recurring in my mind, saying "what if my setpoint was love?"
Indeed, what a good question. What if I just dropped it all right here and reset myself, like a watch, to love o'clock?
In the moment, I will say, sometimes it helped. A deep breath, a returning to center, a dismissal of the annoyance as not worth the energy, a move towards Zen. Other times, I ignored the voice, the inner calling to reset and move towards love, and guess what? Those were the times it didn't work. I was not cool as a cucumber. I was not as gracious as I would like to have been. No Jackie O here. I was not in my best self, I could feel it, and worse yet, so could my little one.
Now that I am settled in and have shed the jet lag and the hubbaloo of trip preparations is a distant memory, I return to this idea of my setpoint being love. It's a wonderful concept, because it so aptly describes how we get off center, we lose our way, and have to come back, reboot, regroup, and realign. It happens continually, it's a natural process. But to catch it midstream, and surrender! Now there is the point of power. It's the pausing to consider whether the harsh word really does any good to the speedster who just scared the beejesus out of you, if cramming down a second slice of cake is really in your best interests of feeling good about yourself, and stopping snarky spiky words from launching out of your mouth when you really just want to scream and strangle simultaneously.
There is an interesting thing to be noted about setpoints. The more you set them, the easier it becomes to maintain the set point. It is a concept well known in the diet world, and I am sure there are many other fabulous examples out there. And so, each time I choose love over not love, it becomes easier to stay at that calm, connected and effortless space and also to return to it. A delightful and tangible concept.
Now I'd like a set point for gelato.
Then we got to the airport. One umbrella stroller, laptop, videocamera, car seat and army sized backpack later, and we were off. There was the usual stuff that we are all used to since 9-11-...take off your shoes, pull out the liquids, xray the stroller, the laptop, and remove all bracelets and anything else that is metal... I forgot to take out baby's Ibuprofen (she could sprout a tooth in flight, you never know, and can't be too careful!) which triggered a bag search. We had a plane change in NY and as we were ready for take off had to change planes (something about the entertainment system not working). My stroller had been checked. It was not possible to carry everything and the baby. Did I mention she weighs 23 lbs? Blessings be to the wonderful ladies who helped me carry the carseat! There was a moment of sheer panic though: what will I do?
Through the entire trip preparation experience there were times of dear God, how will I pull this off? An interesting thing began to happen. Despite being completely consumed with the task at hand, there was a small voice that kept recurring in my mind, saying "what if my setpoint was love?"
Indeed, what a good question. What if I just dropped it all right here and reset myself, like a watch, to love o'clock?
In the moment, I will say, sometimes it helped. A deep breath, a returning to center, a dismissal of the annoyance as not worth the energy, a move towards Zen. Other times, I ignored the voice, the inner calling to reset and move towards love, and guess what? Those were the times it didn't work. I was not cool as a cucumber. I was not as gracious as I would like to have been. No Jackie O here. I was not in my best self, I could feel it, and worse yet, so could my little one.
Now that I am settled in and have shed the jet lag and the hubbaloo of trip preparations is a distant memory, I return to this idea of my setpoint being love. It's a wonderful concept, because it so aptly describes how we get off center, we lose our way, and have to come back, reboot, regroup, and realign. It happens continually, it's a natural process. But to catch it midstream, and surrender! Now there is the point of power. It's the pausing to consider whether the harsh word really does any good to the speedster who just scared the beejesus out of you, if cramming down a second slice of cake is really in your best interests of feeling good about yourself, and stopping snarky spiky words from launching out of your mouth when you really just want to scream and strangle simultaneously.
There is an interesting thing to be noted about setpoints. The more you set them, the easier it becomes to maintain the set point. It is a concept well known in the diet world, and I am sure there are many other fabulous examples out there. And so, each time I choose love over not love, it becomes easier to stay at that calm, connected and effortless space and also to return to it. A delightful and tangible concept.
Now I'd like a set point for gelato.
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