Here is a post I wrote while in Italy- thinking I would add a photo of where I had been. Alas, it has not yet made it to my computer, but the shifts in my life have certainly started to show up! For one, I am in the midst of a crazy clean and organize streak, much akin to those that soon to be mothers go through in the nesting phase (the obsession part) and the usual spring cleaning (the methodical part). Except it's late July. And I am not pregnant. I think this post may have something to do with it, because I have come to notice that every really big transformation in my life is accompanied by wild cleaning and dumping of things that don't serve me. Read on, and laugh: You get what you ask for!
While standing on the terrace overlooking the Mediterranean I had a moment. In short, I asked for change. There was the glorious sea in front of me. Endless possibility. There were my dreams. There is the space between the here and the there I wish to traverse. I know where I am going, and I observe shifts that must happen in my life to allow them to happen. For a long time I had a knowing, but I was afraid of the change required to allow it in. To surrender.
Surrender. Hear that word with me now. Ssss- ren-der. Feel the exhale, the round softness, the grounded peace at the end of the word. Surrender. . .
Then a butterfly appeared and lined itself up with my heart on the wall. I know the butterfly is the symbol of transformation, which is a wonderful affirmation that my prayer was heard. I asked my winged messenger what more it had to say... and it closed its wings. Surprisingly, the underside was the same color as the brick wall, and camouflaged itself perfectly. And there it sat, holding itself still, just being, blending in with where it was. The message was clear. Just be where you are. As I watched it in appreciation and felt my breath and surrendered to the moment, I thanked it. And off it flew into endless possibility.
Jul 31, 2009
Jul 30, 2009
A Perfect Day
Here's my dream day, everyday :
- Wake up lazily in bed, turn on the coffee part and crawl back in bed. When coffee is done, pour a cup and return to bed, lavishly pondering and creating the day.
- Meditate and visualize the most fabulous life I can conjure up with gratitude for what I have in the now.
- Do an hour or so of yoga or go for a run.
- Shower, using yummy products for body and hair.
- Breakfast a la Europa (bread, tea, yogurt, muesli, egg, etc).
- Open the Akashic Records and ask questions like "What do I need to know about today?" and whatever else intrigues me.
- See clients, write, and/or work on one of my many creative projects.
- Take a break and do a self balancing and healing Reiki session, which may or may not end up in a nap.
- A wonderful meal involving some sort of international cuisine made with mostly healthy, organic and local foods. (Mostly, because international and local are seemingly at odds.)
- A few minutes to just sit and be and watch the sun set.
- A journaling session to record what I felt, saw, and experienced during the day.
- Reading time.
- Sleep.
Well, that's a lot to do in one day. Even when I was single, living alone, and unemployed I couldn't do all that stuff in one day. Now I am in partnership, have a child and a lot more responsibilities. It seems like life is like a balloon- if you grab and squeeze it in one place it bulges out in another. If I clean my house from top to bottom one day, that means that I won't have time to do something else I'd like to do.
For a long time this felt very wrong to me, and I felt wrong because I couldn't get it all done- time for my family, myself, to cook healthy meals, exercise, clean the house, be creative, and work. Not to mention hang out with my fabulous friends. Whew! I get tired just thinking about it.
I realized where this came from the other day. Drum roll... it was my upbringing! My mother could never sit still and relax. She grew up on a farm, with crops and animals and 10 kids. Also, I was reared Jehovah's Witness. Added to her ingrained work habits we JWs had a mental programming directed towards never losing your vigilance. Ever. Phrases like "Keep your eyes on the prize!" "Walk with a Purpose!" and metaphors about drifting boats that found themselves alone in the middle of the ocean were par for the course. We were counseled about becoming complacent, ambivalent and lackadaisical. Yes, those words exactly. Whole sermons on being lackadaisical, I kid you not. There was a holy race to be run and if you didn't keep at it, all of the time, you were as good as an "unbeliever" and we all knew what what going to happen to them- yep, the old 1-2, pow in the kisser- death at Armageddon!
Unraveling from these unhealthy ideas took some time. It still amazes me when I catch myself pushing and recenter myself again, how all pervasive these ideas can be. It's OK to stop and call it a day or just sit and do nothing all day.
With that, I think I am going to take a nap.
Jul 29, 2009
From the Mouth of an Earth Angel
Spread love everywhere you go.
Let no one ever come to you without leaving happier.
-Mother Teresa
I've been bumping into that message a few times this week. Once on TV commercial, on a card I noticed at the coffee shop, and in a magazine article. So typical of the Mother Teresa-isms that say
be the light of your world, smile frequently, start the change at home! A nice reminder in the days of so much to do, so little time, road construction, economic stress, and what do you mean there's been a small mishap with the car? Love is where it's at my friends!
Jul 28, 2009
Change your Thoughts, Change your Life!
I saw a billboard yesterday that really caught my attention and got me thinking. It said
RECESSION 101
RECESSION 101
It's a test, not a final.
I like that. What I find really juicy is that someone is paying a LOT of money to anonymously post this message of goodwill on a board in the Minneapolis/St Paul area. One of my teachers, Dr Richard Bartlett said "Recession = Recess is in!" I don't believe that either comment is meant to disparage those who may be experiencing economic distress or setback because of losing a job or the like, but rather to illuminate a different way of looking at things.
It's an old cliche that you get what you look for. If everywhere you see doom and gloom and proof that life as we know it has gone to hell in a handbasket and isn't it unfair! that is exactly what you are going to find, create and experience in your life. On the other hand, looking for the blessings, the magic, the abundance in whatever you interact with will have you focused on the positive and finding more goodness on every corner.
I know, because I've lived both ways- with a poor me, I am so broke and a victim outlook and a miracle mindset, and I must say, not only is the expectation of goodness a lot less stressful but it is a lot more fun. My life conforms daily to how I am feeling and isn't that wonderful? I am in power, not the media, not the economic forecasters or the banks. Life is as good as I decide it is.
With that thought dear reader, I bid you a succulent and abundance life!
Jul 27, 2009
From Snark to Lark
Yesterday my daughter woke up on the wrong side of the crib, if you know what I mean. On my way to her room I walked through the kitchen and saw that the food I had left out for her daddy (he worked late the night before) had gone untouched and spent the whole night out on top of the stove. Grrr. Maybe it's because I grew up with a germ, virus and boutchulism obsessed parent or maybe because the prior night my partner did not feel that the lentil and veggie soup I had prepared for the nightly meal was sufficent for someone who worked a 12 hour shift (he may have a point), but it left me a little crunchy.
Just like my baby. She didn't want to be held. She didn't want milk. She wouldn't put her cereal in her mouth even though I knew she was hungry. She wouldn't let me feed her and she didn't want to be put on the floor either. Parents and friends of toddlers, you know exactly what I mean. This + food in kithchen = major crank. And my daughter was SHRIEKING! At 7 a.m!Despite my name, I have never been a morning person. It was so overwhelming and so early I just froze- what am I supposed to do? This is waaay to early for this! Then I realized in a flash of motherly inspiration that what my baby needs is love.
So I picked her up and I snuggled her extra close and spoke softly and told her I loved her. She resisted about 2 seconds and then allowed herself to melt. I helped her with her sippy cup and within 5 minutes she was happily munching on her cereal. Whew! Coffee in hand I turned my attention to the bandit who leaves food out at night, and not for Santa Claus or leprahchauns.
My mind did something like this:
Maybe he just needs love too.
But he should know better! We have talked about this before!
Maybe he was too tired to eat.
I am sick of this crap! I had to stop washing dishes to grate cheese for quesadillas because he couldn't see the 3 various blocks of cheese in the fridge to supplement the lentil soup!
That was 2 days ago. He is working hard, you know.
We could get sick! It's a waste of good food!
And so forth.
Finally, the loving self won by playing this trump card:
Why can you easily let go of frustrations with your daughter and give her extra love when she is extra crunchy but you can't do it with your partner?
That's a really good point, Higher Self, thanks. So I swallowed my frustration, said good morning and gave him a heartfelt hug when he stumbled out of his sleep coma and into the morning light. Turns out that the trains were not running on schedule due to yearly maintenence and he didn't get home until 2 a.m. He had to walk from the train station home because there were no buses at that hour. All of a sudden I was glad he ate at work! He didn't call because he didn't want to wake us up.
"By the way," I said, "I made you this food..."
"Oh, gracias mi amor. I will eat it today."
It should be mentioned that in his culture it is no big deal to leave food out overnight (or in most cultures outside of the US, I may add).
So I find myself thinking this: what if when all people are cranky/mean/upset they just need extra love? Why not, I mean we are all just a bunch of kids on the great playground of earth anyway, right? So that crabby lady in the bank line might be going through a divorce. Or the guy that cuts everyone off in traffic might have found out his best friend has cancer. Maybe they never got any attention as a child unless they were loud and naughty and now they are older and they haven't learned any other way to interact.
What if we could help turn it around by a smile, a small gesture of kindness or giving them the space they need to be a schmuck without judgement? Even if they are wouldn't-touch-that-with-a-ten-foot-pole out of line, you can still ask the angels/God/Universe/Mother Earth to help them out if you are so inclined.
This is one little way that we help to change the world. Try it yourself and you'll see- the person who instantly feels better is you! And it can make all the difference in the world to the other person, even if you don't notice it at all.
Just like my baby. She didn't want to be held. She didn't want milk. She wouldn't put her cereal in her mouth even though I knew she was hungry. She wouldn't let me feed her and she didn't want to be put on the floor either. Parents and friends of toddlers, you know exactly what I mean. This + food in kithchen = major crank. And my daughter was SHRIEKING! At 7 a.m!Despite my name, I have never been a morning person. It was so overwhelming and so early I just froze- what am I supposed to do? This is waaay to early for this! Then I realized in a flash of motherly inspiration that what my baby needs is love.
So I picked her up and I snuggled her extra close and spoke softly and told her I loved her. She resisted about 2 seconds and then allowed herself to melt. I helped her with her sippy cup and within 5 minutes she was happily munching on her cereal. Whew! Coffee in hand I turned my attention to the bandit who leaves food out at night, and not for Santa Claus or leprahchauns.
My mind did something like this:
Maybe he just needs love too.
But he should know better! We have talked about this before!
Maybe he was too tired to eat.
I am sick of this crap! I had to stop washing dishes to grate cheese for quesadillas because he couldn't see the 3 various blocks of cheese in the fridge to supplement the lentil soup!
That was 2 days ago. He is working hard, you know.
We could get sick! It's a waste of good food!
And so forth.
Finally, the loving self won by playing this trump card:
Why can you easily let go of frustrations with your daughter and give her extra love when she is extra crunchy but you can't do it with your partner?
That's a really good point, Higher Self, thanks. So I swallowed my frustration, said good morning and gave him a heartfelt hug when he stumbled out of his sleep coma and into the morning light. Turns out that the trains were not running on schedule due to yearly maintenence and he didn't get home until 2 a.m. He had to walk from the train station home because there were no buses at that hour. All of a sudden I was glad he ate at work! He didn't call because he didn't want to wake us up.
"By the way," I said, "I made you this food..."
"Oh, gracias mi amor. I will eat it today."
It should be mentioned that in his culture it is no big deal to leave food out overnight (or in most cultures outside of the US, I may add).
So I find myself thinking this: what if when all people are cranky/mean/upset they just need extra love? Why not, I mean we are all just a bunch of kids on the great playground of earth anyway, right? So that crabby lady in the bank line might be going through a divorce. Or the guy that cuts everyone off in traffic might have found out his best friend has cancer. Maybe they never got any attention as a child unless they were loud and naughty and now they are older and they haven't learned any other way to interact.
What if we could help turn it around by a smile, a small gesture of kindness or giving them the space they need to be a schmuck without judgement? Even if they are wouldn't-touch-that-with-a-ten-foot-pole out of line, you can still ask the angels/God/Universe/Mother Earth to help them out if you are so inclined.
This is one little way that we help to change the world. Try it yourself and you'll see- the person who instantly feels better is you! And it can make all the difference in the world to the other person, even if you don't notice it at all.
Jul 26, 2009
My Little Sister- Sortof
A few weeks ago I attended a Matrix Energetics seminar and I was "playing" with a friend. She adjusted something in my field to allow me to relate to my daughter differently- like a sister instead of a mother. (If adjusting someone's field sounds a little weird to you, don't worry. It's just trying to put language on an aspect of healing. You can learn more about it by reading about subtle energy fields.)
Now that was a very interesting thing to have happen because I come from a lineage of mothers who abandon emotionally and disown their daughters. To my knowledge, I am the third generation for this to occur. My grandmother emotionally disowned my mother when she became a Jehovah's Witness. I was 2 at the time. I was raised as a JW, but was disfellowshipped (excommunicated) when I was 19. My mother cut off all ties with me. So I've always had this feeling that I absolutely must break this destructive cycle with my daughter.
My daughter is beautiful and magnificent in her innocent perfection. (Although she is quickly becoming a precocious toddler and her innocence is fading fast as she tests her-and my- limits! LOL). I cannot imagine disowning her for a second. I also do not want her to feel like she has to mother me because I cannot show up for myself first and be healed. (Another element of the matriarchal lineage I come from.)
I keep coming back to this concept of interacting with my baby girl like a sister. Whenever I do, I immediately shift to another place with her- I want to crawl around on the floor and play with her, dress her up and celebrate her sweetness in a way I don't when I am just being mom. I am so much more relaxed and my adult responsibilities just melt away while I enjoy being present with her.
A lot of us have mother wounds, and a few of us are motherless daughters and sons. Having children of your own is one way the Universe propels us toward healing. There's no greater arena than in your own home with your own children to feel immeasurable love and experience healing as you create a new story for yourselves and your loved ones.
Now that was a very interesting thing to have happen because I come from a lineage of mothers who abandon emotionally and disown their daughters. To my knowledge, I am the third generation for this to occur. My grandmother emotionally disowned my mother when she became a Jehovah's Witness. I was 2 at the time. I was raised as a JW, but was disfellowshipped (excommunicated) when I was 19. My mother cut off all ties with me. So I've always had this feeling that I absolutely must break this destructive cycle with my daughter.
My daughter is beautiful and magnificent in her innocent perfection. (Although she is quickly becoming a precocious toddler and her innocence is fading fast as she tests her-and my- limits! LOL). I cannot imagine disowning her for a second. I also do not want her to feel like she has to mother me because I cannot show up for myself first and be healed. (Another element of the matriarchal lineage I come from.)
I keep coming back to this concept of interacting with my baby girl like a sister. Whenever I do, I immediately shift to another place with her- I want to crawl around on the floor and play with her, dress her up and celebrate her sweetness in a way I don't when I am just being mom. I am so much more relaxed and my adult responsibilities just melt away while I enjoy being present with her.
A lot of us have mother wounds, and a few of us are motherless daughters and sons. Having children of your own is one way the Universe propels us toward healing. There's no greater arena than in your own home with your own children to feel immeasurable love and experience healing as you create a new story for yourselves and your loved ones.
Jul 25, 2009
Goddess Night
Last night I had the honor of attending the Sacred Paths Center Goddess Night as their guest healer. The theme for the night was exploring the Midwife Archetype which embodies an aspect of the Divine Feminine. The Midwife represents easing transitions for ourselves and others. Having given birth 15 months ago with a skilled team of nurses, midwives and a doula gave me a wonderful reference point for this aspect of feminine energy.
The Midwife historically is a sage and wise woman. She is in tune with the cycles of the moon and woman, the changing of the seasons, and intimate with the phases of pregnancy and childbirth. She has vast knowledge of plants and herbs to heal, and the rythms of life and death. She draws up energy from the Mother Earth Goddess through her feet planted firmly on the ground and has her head and arms lifted to embrace the sky. The place where heaven and earth meet is in her heart, where she confidently resides. She knows when to be still, to listen and wait, and when to act quickly. She is sustained and nourished by her connection to Earth and those whom she serves.
This powerful and confident Midwife energy is a part of all of us. When we feel inspired to lend a helping hand to another, to listen to friend going through a difficult time or make an anonymous gift to someone who has need, we are a channel for this Divine mothering and nurturing energy to flow through. Sometimes we find it easier to notice and act upon the needs of others and we forget the most important person of all to nurture- ourselves!
You can work with this sacred feminine energy by asking yourself the following questions:
What phase of my life am I in?
What am I transisitioning away from?
What magnificent things await me?
What can I release to ease my transition?
What talents and strenghts do I have to assist me on my journey?
Is it a time of go within, to rest and heal, or a time to act boldly with confidence?
Know that this wonderful healing feminine energy is always available to you because it is part of you. Permitting ourselves to take time and receive replenishes and nurishes our spirit, which in turn allows us to give from our storehouses of love to others. As we give we create a space within ourselves that has a need to be filled. It is this graceful and life sustaining dance between giving and recieving that we partake of.
A time to give, a time to recieve.
A time to act, a time to be.
May we all celebrate the great Goddess energy that is a part of all of us!
The Midwife historically is a sage and wise woman. She is in tune with the cycles of the moon and woman, the changing of the seasons, and intimate with the phases of pregnancy and childbirth. She has vast knowledge of plants and herbs to heal, and the rythms of life and death. She draws up energy from the Mother Earth Goddess through her feet planted firmly on the ground and has her head and arms lifted to embrace the sky. The place where heaven and earth meet is in her heart, where she confidently resides. She knows when to be still, to listen and wait, and when to act quickly. She is sustained and nourished by her connection to Earth and those whom she serves.
This powerful and confident Midwife energy is a part of all of us. When we feel inspired to lend a helping hand to another, to listen to friend going through a difficult time or make an anonymous gift to someone who has need, we are a channel for this Divine mothering and nurturing energy to flow through. Sometimes we find it easier to notice and act upon the needs of others and we forget the most important person of all to nurture- ourselves!
You can work with this sacred feminine energy by asking yourself the following questions:
What phase of my life am I in?
What am I transisitioning away from?
What magnificent things await me?
What can I release to ease my transition?
What talents and strenghts do I have to assist me on my journey?
Is it a time of go within, to rest and heal, or a time to act boldly with confidence?
Know that this wonderful healing feminine energy is always available to you because it is part of you. Permitting ourselves to take time and receive replenishes and nurishes our spirit, which in turn allows us to give from our storehouses of love to others. As we give we create a space within ourselves that has a need to be filled. It is this graceful and life sustaining dance between giving and recieving that we partake of.
A time to give, a time to recieve.
A time to act, a time to be.
May we all celebrate the great Goddess energy that is a part of all of us!
Jul 24, 2009
Booked!
Facebooked that is.
I used to dislike Facebook. Then I got the hang of it and it became OK, then I got bored, then I found Scramble! (I love word games!) and it's been in flux ever since. Recently I took a stroll down Facebook high school lane, and saw all the people I went to school with. WOW. What a trip!
Talk about instantly morphing back into the snarky, critical, self-conscious stage. I caught myself after noticing the same person was on everyone's list of friends. If they graduated from my town, she was their friend. She must be bored! I thought. Then I thought, loooook who's talking! Despite the fact that we were mutually not fans of each other 16 years ago (16!), I have no idea who she is now or how she has changed since being a sophomore.
It was amazing to observe that knee jerk "I wonder what they think of me? I am not cool enough!" line of thought. I hadn't seen many of these people since graduation, and all of a sudden I am imagining conversations about myself that may or may not have occurred. Seriously. My perceptions of what other people may have thought of me as viewed through my filters. Really. Realistically, they probably were too concerned about what everyone else was thinking about them- or didn't give a crap about me.
Thankfully I got a hold of myself rather quickly and reigned it in. I even befriended a few people and some of them friended me back. It has been a week now and I have forgotten most of who I befriended in the first place and if they haven't friended me back, it's OK.
I think there's a place on Facebook where you can check out everything you've done on the site, but who has time?
At the 10 year reunion the organizers asked the question what have you been up to since high school? Someone wrote that high school was the worst experience of her life and she had suffered horribly because of the endless teasing and ostracism for being different. She was scarred emotionally and had moved on to a better life, F'you all! The reunion committee printed her letter in the Where are They Now? booklet they put together.
It's mind boggling how cruel high school can be. I don't know anyone who doesn't have a horror story or two. Everyone wanted to fit in, to simultaneously be independent and unique, and not care about it at all. Of course we all cared about being accepted desperately.
So here's a shout out, a thumbs up and a HELL YEAH! to surviving high school. If you are reading this and dreaming of freedom when you graduate and can get out of town and finally be you, let me tell you- it always gets better.
I used to dislike Facebook. Then I got the hang of it and it became OK, then I got bored, then I found Scramble! (I love word games!) and it's been in flux ever since. Recently I took a stroll down Facebook high school lane, and saw all the people I went to school with. WOW. What a trip!
Talk about instantly morphing back into the snarky, critical, self-conscious stage. I caught myself after noticing the same person was on everyone's list of friends. If they graduated from my town, she was their friend. She must be bored! I thought. Then I thought, loooook who's talking! Despite the fact that we were mutually not fans of each other 16 years ago (16!), I have no idea who she is now or how she has changed since being a sophomore.
It was amazing to observe that knee jerk "I wonder what they think of me? I am not cool enough!" line of thought. I hadn't seen many of these people since graduation, and all of a sudden I am imagining conversations about myself that may or may not have occurred. Seriously. My perceptions of what other people may have thought of me as viewed through my filters. Really. Realistically, they probably were too concerned about what everyone else was thinking about them- or didn't give a crap about me.
Thankfully I got a hold of myself rather quickly and reigned it in. I even befriended a few people and some of them friended me back. It has been a week now and I have forgotten most of who I befriended in the first place and if they haven't friended me back, it's OK.
I think there's a place on Facebook where you can check out everything you've done on the site, but who has time?
At the 10 year reunion the organizers asked the question what have you been up to since high school? Someone wrote that high school was the worst experience of her life and she had suffered horribly because of the endless teasing and ostracism for being different. She was scarred emotionally and had moved on to a better life, F'you all! The reunion committee printed her letter in the Where are They Now? booklet they put together.
It's mind boggling how cruel high school can be. I don't know anyone who doesn't have a horror story or two. Everyone wanted to fit in, to simultaneously be independent and unique, and not care about it at all. Of course we all cared about being accepted desperately.
So here's a shout out, a thumbs up and a HELL YEAH! to surviving high school. If you are reading this and dreaming of freedom when you graduate and can get out of town and finally be you, let me tell you- it always gets better.
Jul 22, 2009
The Gratitude Journal
I have decided to start a Gratitude Journal.
Remember when Oprah went on Dateline last year and talked to the world about her weight gain? She said that when she got too busy to record her blessings in her Gratitude Journal she started to slip in other areas of her life and she landed in a bag of chips. Not refocusing on gratitude daily was the beginning. (Way to go Oprah for being so honest!)
Well, I've been in a few bags of chips myself lately. And I see remarkable parallels between myself and Oprah. She runs an orphanage, and I have an orphanage I dream of helping in Kerala, India. She loves fabulous female authors, and I do too. She has 14 bathrooms- I love baths! She has a team of advisers and I say "Hello sexy man Micheal Beckwith!" So you see, we are not really so different after all. If it works for Oprah, it can work for me.
Stay tuned.
Remember when Oprah went on Dateline last year and talked to the world about her weight gain? She said that when she got too busy to record her blessings in her Gratitude Journal she started to slip in other areas of her life and she landed in a bag of chips. Not refocusing on gratitude daily was the beginning. (Way to go Oprah for being so honest!)
Well, I've been in a few bags of chips myself lately. And I see remarkable parallels between myself and Oprah. She runs an orphanage, and I have an orphanage I dream of helping in Kerala, India. She loves fabulous female authors, and I do too. She has 14 bathrooms- I love baths! She has a team of advisers and I say "Hello sexy man Micheal Beckwith!" So you see, we are not really so different after all. If it works for Oprah, it can work for me.
Stay tuned.
Jul 21, 2009
Total Eclipse of the Heart
Big news in the astronomy and astrology world: a solar eclipse today! http://sunearthday.nasa.gov/2009eclipse/ I have three words for you dear reader- Change is a'coming!
I've been noticing that it's easier for me to initiate change when I psyche myself up for it, like when I start a diet or a savings plan. However, I find it is more difficult to maintain the momentum and often end up abandoning whatever plans I had carefully made to make over my world in a dramatic way.
Then there are the changes that I sort of sidle up to without even noticing that I am in the process of changing. They occur so organically that it often takes me by surprise when I recognize what has been going on and that a big change is eminent. Once I clue in, I can be rather resistant. As we all know, resistance is futile. Inevitably these are the changes that last.
I used to be a smoker. Oh, did I love my smoky treats! There was a brief phase of Marlboro Reds, a college stint of Light 100's around a certain friend (you know who you are!) and years of good old Marlboro Lights. I wanted to quit (sort of) for a long time. I did (usually) when I was dating a non-smoker. (Until I met up with said friend with the 100's and we would sit and smoke and cluck and smoke. We were smokin' chicks! Ha ha.)
Once I had a boyfriend who HATED smoking. He was a controlling little devil, though in a very subtle way. The first year we were together or so I secretly smoked when he wasn't around. Once he called me and said he was under my patio and I about had a heart attack! If you've ever played the I don't smoke game before, you know it's all about sneaking around, breath mints and a bottle of body spray on hand at ALL times. Not to mention freezing your booty off while your windows are down in the middle of winter, trying to air out your car and your clothes.
I used to have a secret pack at my best friends house. We had planned a trip abroad and I was pretty excited about being able to smoke in freedom. The first morning we arrived I got up and went to sit on the edge of the exquisite backwaters in Kerala. It was 5 a.m. and the most magnificent call to prayer was heard across the water from the nearby temple. I lit up my cigarette to enjoy this perfect moment and inhaled and... it was terrible. Just like all the other cigarettes I had smoked the months prior. A voice deep inside said "this is not who I am anymore." I felt sad. I inhaled again. I felt even worse. Inhale. Lower still. Then I gave up. I surrendered. I snubbed it out with great sadness... and left my pack in the nightstand of that sweet little homestay for the next weary traveler who needed a smoke. (I was still being loyal to the smoking brotherhood, I guess.)
I haven't been a smoker since.
That really big change snuck up on me. It manifested itself in the least expected moment. The signs were there of course, but I chose to ignore them. Eventually I couldn't tune out what my heart and spirit had been saying for a long time. Deeply emotional and spiritual changes are like that.
These days I am trying to embrace change more. The only thing that is constant in the Universe is that everything is always changing! I want to make friends with change, welcome it's new face, and dance elegantly with it, like leaves following the lead of the wind.
Which brings me back to the eclipse: they almost always bring change. Ready or not, here they come!
I choose ready.
I've been noticing that it's easier for me to initiate change when I psyche myself up for it, like when I start a diet or a savings plan. However, I find it is more difficult to maintain the momentum and often end up abandoning whatever plans I had carefully made to make over my world in a dramatic way.
Then there are the changes that I sort of sidle up to without even noticing that I am in the process of changing. They occur so organically that it often takes me by surprise when I recognize what has been going on and that a big change is eminent. Once I clue in, I can be rather resistant. As we all know, resistance is futile. Inevitably these are the changes that last.
I used to be a smoker. Oh, did I love my smoky treats! There was a brief phase of Marlboro Reds, a college stint of Light 100's around a certain friend (you know who you are!) and years of good old Marlboro Lights. I wanted to quit (sort of) for a long time. I did (usually) when I was dating a non-smoker. (Until I met up with said friend with the 100's and we would sit and smoke and cluck and smoke. We were smokin' chicks! Ha ha.)
Once I had a boyfriend who HATED smoking. He was a controlling little devil, though in a very subtle way. The first year we were together or so I secretly smoked when he wasn't around. Once he called me and said he was under my patio and I about had a heart attack! If you've ever played the I don't smoke game before, you know it's all about sneaking around, breath mints and a bottle of body spray on hand at ALL times. Not to mention freezing your booty off while your windows are down in the middle of winter, trying to air out your car and your clothes.
I used to have a secret pack at my best friends house. We had planned a trip abroad and I was pretty excited about being able to smoke in freedom. The first morning we arrived I got up and went to sit on the edge of the exquisite backwaters in Kerala. It was 5 a.m. and the most magnificent call to prayer was heard across the water from the nearby temple. I lit up my cigarette to enjoy this perfect moment and inhaled and... it was terrible. Just like all the other cigarettes I had smoked the months prior. A voice deep inside said "this is not who I am anymore." I felt sad. I inhaled again. I felt even worse. Inhale. Lower still. Then I gave up. I surrendered. I snubbed it out with great sadness... and left my pack in the nightstand of that sweet little homestay for the next weary traveler who needed a smoke. (I was still being loyal to the smoking brotherhood, I guess.)
I haven't been a smoker since.
That really big change snuck up on me. It manifested itself in the least expected moment. The signs were there of course, but I chose to ignore them. Eventually I couldn't tune out what my heart and spirit had been saying for a long time. Deeply emotional and spiritual changes are like that.
These days I am trying to embrace change more. The only thing that is constant in the Universe is that everything is always changing! I want to make friends with change, welcome it's new face, and dance elegantly with it, like leaves following the lead of the wind.
Which brings me back to the eclipse: they almost always bring change. Ready or not, here they come!
I choose ready.
Jul 20, 2009
The Great Sock Hop
The Great Sock Hop was held July 21st, at 7:13 p.m. Socks from all walks of life arrived with the hope of finding their sole mate. For some, it was love at first sight- "Another tall brown striped just like me!". Others, after some sizing up, found solace in a similar type, worn in different places, but the same shade of grey. A few had holes beyond repair, and spent the entire time skulking on the periphery. All in all, of the 49 attendees, 28 found their match, and the other 21 marched single file to the tune "Here I Go Again" by Whitesnake into sock heaven.
**********************************************************************************
Why do we do that? No, not write goofy things about all the lost socks that crowd the drawers, but keep them hanging around? Or anything for matter- stained t-shirts (more than one to paint in and to color hair in, exceptions for those with toddlers who finger paint), ripped underwear, mugs with broken handles and games missing pieces?
I could tell you what I think. But so could Suzie Orman! I love Suzie. She's got BALLS. She's super smart, tells it like it is, and gets the emotional side of money too. Suzie says (in her Courage to be Rich book) it is ultimately about being afraid there won't be enough. Fear of scarcity. Most of us grew up with this thinking since our parents or grandparents went through the Great Depression, hoarding string and empty jars and later margarine tubs. It's quite interesting to observe how we pick this stuff up without even realizing it.
Ms. Orman has an exercise to go through your house and THROW OUT ALL THE BROKEN, MISMATCHED, and NOT USED ITEMS NOW. That's right, the off shades of lipstick, the yellow sweater aunt Martha gave you 2 Christmases ago, the bobble head George Bush Jr. the office gave you as a joke. (Ha, Ha, thanks guys...)
This was a great exercise for me. I did it when I was pregnant about 20 months ago. I cleared out bags of junk I didn't even know I had! I am not sure if I missed the socks that time around (possibly, given the hormonal swings and inability to focus I suffered from) or if that many socks had gone missing in the last 20 months (providing further proof that the sock eating monster that lives in the dryer is REAL).
At any rate, it's time to do it again. The sense of satisfaction I got from hosting the Great Sock Hop and reuniting pairs of loved ones incites me to action.
And I can't find anything in my basement again.
**********************************************************************************
Why do we do that? No, not write goofy things about all the lost socks that crowd the drawers, but keep them hanging around? Or anything for matter- stained t-shirts (more than one to paint in and to color hair in, exceptions for those with toddlers who finger paint), ripped underwear, mugs with broken handles and games missing pieces?
I could tell you what I think. But so could Suzie Orman! I love Suzie. She's got BALLS. She's super smart, tells it like it is, and gets the emotional side of money too. Suzie says (in her Courage to be Rich book) it is ultimately about being afraid there won't be enough. Fear of scarcity. Most of us grew up with this thinking since our parents or grandparents went through the Great Depression, hoarding string and empty jars and later margarine tubs. It's quite interesting to observe how we pick this stuff up without even realizing it.
Ms. Orman has an exercise to go through your house and THROW OUT ALL THE BROKEN, MISMATCHED, and NOT USED ITEMS NOW. That's right, the off shades of lipstick, the yellow sweater aunt Martha gave you 2 Christmases ago, the bobble head George Bush Jr. the office gave you as a joke. (Ha, Ha, thanks guys...)
This was a great exercise for me. I did it when I was pregnant about 20 months ago. I cleared out bags of junk I didn't even know I had! I am not sure if I missed the socks that time around (possibly, given the hormonal swings and inability to focus I suffered from) or if that many socks had gone missing in the last 20 months (providing further proof that the sock eating monster that lives in the dryer is REAL).
At any rate, it's time to do it again. The sense of satisfaction I got from hosting the Great Sock Hop and reuniting pairs of loved ones incites me to action.
And I can't find anything in my basement again.
Jul 19, 2009
Invisibility Experiment 1
I ordered a pizza from Papy Murphy's. I am a fan of the thin crust, it's so flaky and good, and since I love brown cheese on top, I love that I can bake it at home! But I digress.
I order my pizza. I go to the bathroom while waiting. I wash my hands and dry them with a paper towel from the automatic paper towel dispenser machine. I open the bathroom door. I notice that no one else is in the bathroom or the hallway. I look back at the paper towel dispenser. You have to break the infrared beam with movement to get the machine to see you and know a towel is needed. Still no one in the hall. Hmm.
Why not? Time to practice invisibility!
So I go to my heart space and access the Matrix/Force/Grace/Whatever. I imagine my photons phasing out and fading like how the Star Trek people would beam up. I wave my hands in front of dryer-nothing. I change my stance. I wave them up and down and sideways. Nothing. No whrrr, no towel, no-body. I try several more times with the same result. Then I get bored after a while and get my pizza. Which was delicious by the way.
Ha ha! I am on to you Harry Potter!
I order my pizza. I go to the bathroom while waiting. I wash my hands and dry them with a paper towel from the automatic paper towel dispenser machine. I open the bathroom door. I notice that no one else is in the bathroom or the hallway. I look back at the paper towel dispenser. You have to break the infrared beam with movement to get the machine to see you and know a towel is needed. Still no one in the hall. Hmm.
Why not? Time to practice invisibility!
So I go to my heart space and access the Matrix/Force/Grace/Whatever. I imagine my photons phasing out and fading like how the Star Trek people would beam up. I wave my hands in front of dryer-nothing. I change my stance. I wave them up and down and sideways. Nothing. No whrrr, no towel, no-body. I try several more times with the same result. Then I get bored after a while and get my pizza. Which was delicious by the way.
Ha ha! I am on to you Harry Potter!
Jul 17, 2009
Invisi-what???
Ok, someone bit the hook and asked (regarding the Matrix post) what exactly did I mean by playing with invisibility?
I admit I've only done it once. OK, more than once and it always involves me and police cars. I am usually speeding. However my most noteworthy story comes from the day I ran a red light in downtown Minneapolis, right in front of a cop. SH$&T! My first thought was "Invisibility Shield!" Since his light was already umm, green, he was right behind me. I just kept thinking about how he couldn't see me and my car was invisible. He was behind me for a block or two and then I arrived at my destination- a parking garage. (Whew!)
Was my car really invisible? I don't know. Maybe he was having a sandwich or a chat with his girlfriend or dreaming about baseball. Or cats. Or cats playing baseball. I just know that I totally ran a red light in front of a cop and he didn't bat an eye and I was saved from a $150 ticket. (For the record, I never get speeding tickets despite the fact that I have a lead foot.)
Now that I think about it, why not play with invisibility more? What have I got to lose? I am a mom and a large percentage of my day is spent changing diapers, making sure everyone eats enough veggies and preventing my 14 month old from bashing daddy's very large flat screen in with a toy cell phone. I could use some excitement! Practicing invisibility skills could be just the ZING I need!
Plus I giggle whenever I think about it.
I am not sure how one would really figure out if works though. You can't really invite your friends over and ask them if they can see you.
This is going to be fun!
I admit I've only done it once. OK, more than once and it always involves me and police cars. I am usually speeding. However my most noteworthy story comes from the day I ran a red light in downtown Minneapolis, right in front of a cop. SH$&T! My first thought was "Invisibility Shield!" Since his light was already umm, green, he was right behind me. I just kept thinking about how he couldn't see me and my car was invisible. He was behind me for a block or two and then I arrived at my destination- a parking garage. (Whew!)
Was my car really invisible? I don't know. Maybe he was having a sandwich or a chat with his girlfriend or dreaming about baseball. Or cats. Or cats playing baseball. I just know that I totally ran a red light in front of a cop and he didn't bat an eye and I was saved from a $150 ticket. (For the record, I never get speeding tickets despite the fact that I have a lead foot.)
Now that I think about it, why not play with invisibility more? What have I got to lose? I am a mom and a large percentage of my day is spent changing diapers, making sure everyone eats enough veggies and preventing my 14 month old from bashing daddy's very large flat screen in with a toy cell phone. I could use some excitement! Practicing invisibility skills could be just the ZING I need!
Plus I giggle whenever I think about it.
I am not sure how one would really figure out if works though. You can't really invite your friends over and ask them if they can see you.
This is going to be fun!
Jul 16, 2009
The Power of the Open End
Since my post about not interacting with my problems anymore I've had lots of opportunities to walk my talk, naturally. It's one thing to say "I refuse to acknowledge you bad breath/credit card bill/ cranky spouse anymore!" and dig your head in the sand with a "nah nah nah, I can't HEAR you!" but that's really not useful.
What I am talking about is a shifting of consciousness. It's the act of observing so called "problem" and then finding a new way to interact with it. The open ended question is the best way I have encountered yet. Better than breathing deeply and counting to 10, better than a hot fudge sundae, and more instantaneous and permanent than a yoga class. Just the simple question "How could I observe this differently?" Or "What do I notice about this that is changing?" can be all I need to disentangle from my pre-existing mental tape and move just a smidgen away. That tiny space, coupled with a question that elicits possibilities instead of the same fixed reaction is all that is needed to begin to shift the situation.
Open ended questions are incredibly powerful, because they allow a new answer to flow into the space that they create. Nature abhors a vaccuum, and I guarantee if you choose to try it, you'll be amazed at the answers that come your way!
Try these on for size:
What would happen if I I saw this as an opportunity?
If I were to notice that my life was changing in a positive manner, what would I notice?
How would my life change if I choose to deeply accept and love myself?
If I stopped using cigarettes/food/alchohol/shopping to fill in my holes, what would I do?
What would feeling free look like for me?
What would happen if instead of strangling my boss/smelly cubicle mate/15 year old I decided to view them as a precious and innocent baby? Or naked? (Whichever works best for you! ha,ha.)
How can I use my talents and stengths to move through this situation?
And so forth. How will you know it's working? Because you will feel better. Even a slight improvement (because let's not be naive, everyone experiences some heavy duty stuff in their life) can begin to change the situation because YOU change. And if you keep at it, noticing what is new and changing all the time, before you know it, it has changed!
What I am talking about is a shifting of consciousness. It's the act of observing so called "problem" and then finding a new way to interact with it. The open ended question is the best way I have encountered yet. Better than breathing deeply and counting to 10, better than a hot fudge sundae, and more instantaneous and permanent than a yoga class. Just the simple question "How could I observe this differently?" Or "What do I notice about this that is changing?" can be all I need to disentangle from my pre-existing mental tape and move just a smidgen away. That tiny space, coupled with a question that elicits possibilities instead of the same fixed reaction is all that is needed to begin to shift the situation.
Open ended questions are incredibly powerful, because they allow a new answer to flow into the space that they create. Nature abhors a vaccuum, and I guarantee if you choose to try it, you'll be amazed at the answers that come your way!
Try these on for size:
What would happen if I I saw this as an opportunity?
If I were to notice that my life was changing in a positive manner, what would I notice?
How would my life change if I choose to deeply accept and love myself?
If I stopped using cigarettes/food/alchohol/shopping to fill in my holes, what would I do?
What would feeling free look like for me?
What would happen if instead of strangling my boss/smelly cubicle mate/15 year old I decided to view them as a precious and innocent baby? Or naked? (Whichever works best for you! ha,ha.)
How can I use my talents and stengths to move through this situation?
And so forth. How will you know it's working? Because you will feel better. Even a slight improvement (because let's not be naive, everyone experiences some heavy duty stuff in their life) can begin to change the situation because YOU change. And if you keep at it, noticing what is new and changing all the time, before you know it, it has changed!
Jul 15, 2009
Uncanny Undoing
Here's a funny little ditty about the power of our thoughts and manifesting:
I was at a thrift store and noticed a new toilet seat for sale-$5. I did not buy it. I rationalized my way out of it, thinking it was silly to get a new one, since the current one wasn't broken and I only wanted to change it because it had a small pea sized dark spot on it from when I dropped some hair color on it a while back.
I got home and I looked at my toilet seat and thought, I should've bought that toilet seat!
Then I just forgot about it- I mean I had been co-existing with said unsightly toilet seat for over a year now.
Within a day or two my toilet seat broke. The lid was always up, and no one seems to know how or when it broke. Now I need a new toilet seat!
I was at a thrift store and noticed a new toilet seat for sale-$5. I did not buy it. I rationalized my way out of it, thinking it was silly to get a new one, since the current one wasn't broken and I only wanted to change it because it had a small pea sized dark spot on it from when I dropped some hair color on it a while back.
I got home and I looked at my toilet seat and thought, I should've bought that toilet seat!
Then I just forgot about it- I mean I had been co-existing with said unsightly toilet seat for over a year now.
Within a day or two my toilet seat broke. The lid was always up, and no one seems to know how or when it broke. Now I need a new toilet seat!
Jul 14, 2009
Matrix Matters
The Matrix Energetics seminar was awesome! It was such an honor to help hold sacred space for the group (about 200), and witness their transformation. There were lots of people who had never done anything even remotely similar, many in the retired+ age group, doctors, moms, and computer people. I loved seeing them practice what they were learning and seeing stuff happen right away. It was a ton of fun!
What struck me is the statement that everything is an illusion. Nothing new, that concept. A Course in Miracles, The Four Agreements, Wayne Dyer and Buddhist philosophy to name a few all talk about how understanding the illusion of the world we live in is a key concept to free oneself from the tyranny of the mind and move into joy. I have heard/read it lots of times, and maybe you have too.
But you know how it is, sometimes you hear something in just a certain way, or maybe you are finally ready to listen, and all the planets are aligned? It's the perfect combo of man wearing Axe deodorant and cute girl in an empty elevator. It just sounds different. It feels different. It "clicks".
Hey! I thought. If everything is an illusion, then that means my problems are not real! I am going to stop interacting with them. Period. Because they don't exist. And I don't have to take my crap so seriously, either! Besides, it's so boring and stifling and self- limiting! All of this I don't deserve/I am not good enough belief system (BS!) can just be done away with. Someone made it up because they didn't know any better, I believed their lie, and it's just not working for me anymore.
Since deciding that I am feeling more beautiful. I am feeling more creative, smarter and in my personal power. I am more loving and more comfortable with being me- and letting others be themselves.
There is one exception to the whole world is an illusion bit. And that my friends is love. Remember when I mentioned in the Awakenings post I had read all those life changing books in India? After about the third book (and they were all pretty different) I copped on to the fact that each carried the message that love was the only truth. By the ninth book (I was blessed with a long trip!) it had sunk in conceptually.
Now I am experiencing that as I move away from the illusion of my junk by not focusing my attention on those things I immediately move into a space of love. It's like it flows in to fill the space where all the negative thoughts once lived. Pretty good stuff. And it feels wonderful.
I challenge you to pick one thing in your life that just isn't serving you and choose to view it as an illusion. Like a bad movie on TBS late at night. The remote is in your hands. You can change the channel if you choose! Give yourself the permission to do so. Watch what happens!
What struck me is the statement that everything is an illusion. Nothing new, that concept. A Course in Miracles, The Four Agreements, Wayne Dyer and Buddhist philosophy to name a few all talk about how understanding the illusion of the world we live in is a key concept to free oneself from the tyranny of the mind and move into joy. I have heard/read it lots of times, and maybe you have too.
But you know how it is, sometimes you hear something in just a certain way, or maybe you are finally ready to listen, and all the planets are aligned? It's the perfect combo of man wearing Axe deodorant and cute girl in an empty elevator. It just sounds different. It feels different. It "clicks".
Hey! I thought. If everything is an illusion, then that means my problems are not real! I am going to stop interacting with them. Period. Because they don't exist. And I don't have to take my crap so seriously, either! Besides, it's so boring and stifling and self- limiting! All of this I don't deserve/I am not good enough belief system (BS!) can just be done away with. Someone made it up because they didn't know any better, I believed their lie, and it's just not working for me anymore.
Since deciding that I am feeling more beautiful. I am feeling more creative, smarter and in my personal power. I am more loving and more comfortable with being me- and letting others be themselves.
There is one exception to the whole world is an illusion bit. And that my friends is love. Remember when I mentioned in the Awakenings post I had read all those life changing books in India? After about the third book (and they were all pretty different) I copped on to the fact that each carried the message that love was the only truth. By the ninth book (I was blessed with a long trip!) it had sunk in conceptually.
Now I am experiencing that as I move away from the illusion of my junk by not focusing my attention on those things I immediately move into a space of love. It's like it flows in to fill the space where all the negative thoughts once lived. Pretty good stuff. And it feels wonderful.
I challenge you to pick one thing in your life that just isn't serving you and choose to view it as an illusion. Like a bad movie on TBS late at night. The remote is in your hands. You can change the channel if you choose! Give yourself the permission to do so. Watch what happens!
Jul 12, 2009
Awakenings
I had lunch the other day with a dear friend. We enjoyed fantastic conversation about the things that we were experiencing and how things were shifting in our lives. One of the many topics that came up was how unsettling and sometimes scary a spiritual awakening can be. As a whole, we lack a reference point for that sort of thing because spirituality has been consistently suppressed and oppressed to maintain power by the political and religious powers throughout history.
I remember when I first became aware of a bigger picture- I was in India. Though it’s terribly cliché, being in India changed me in a profound way. I had been introduced to angels the month before by my dear friend Laura, and had selected specific “new age” books to read for the trip. Those books gave me insight into healing and the universe and everything between. That information coupled with the intense spiritual atmosphere and energy of India was the catalyst for some very magical and mystical experiences while I was there. Have grown up a Jehovah’s Witness, I was definitely in new territory- and pretty freaked out.
India is impossible to describe. It is sublime. It is the most beautiful thing you have ever seen followed by the most horrific thing and they are sharing the same space. And while I struggled to find words to talk about my trip, it was even more difficult to share the inner journey I had been on. I felt frustrated and lonely. No one “got” me anymore. I didn’t even know what was happening! It was quite some time before I became comfortable with my new awareness.
My friend shared that she had begun to wonder if she was crazy- and I suspect that it’s like that for a lot of people. What I’ve been noticing lately is that a lot of people are becoming aware of their psychic abilities and are not sure what to do with them. They suddenly “know” something and have no idea how or why. Other people are showing increased sensitivity to energy. Many are remembering that they could see colors around people (auras) or entities (ghosts, angels) as children. Since we live in a society that doesn’t honor the intuitive and spiritual element of human nature, it can feel very overwhelming and alienating.
What I want to put forth is that if you are resonating with this, you are not alone. You are not losing your mind! If you feel that you can’t talk to your circle of friends and family, find someone who you can trust. Find the support you need whether a book, a class, an online group, a healer or mentor. Use your intuition to seek the perfect thing for you. Your heart will lead the way. Be patient with yourself and honor and accept yourself for exactly where you are. These stirrings are usually the first step of great healing- and ultimately increased self awareness, wholeness, and capacity to love.
Great blessings to all along the journey!
Jul 11, 2009
The Golden City
I go to Lake Harriet Spiritual Community on Sunday mornings. It's awesome. I never know what to expect- there's a different format and focus every week. They welcome and honor all religous paths, so it's been very enriching and educational to learn about different ways people access and connect with Divinty. There is no dogma, no one telling you how to live your life, and no rules- except no pushing your views on anyone else. Very refreshing for someone who grew up in a cult envirornment!
I can't tell you how many times I've walked in tired, off- centered, and maybe even a little snarky and floated out with my heart full of love.
But at LHSC, it's the music that really shines.
A few weeks ago we were treated to artist Timothy Frantzich who sang and played guitar with his heart. His lyrics were very clever! I was especially taken with the following song and the imagry it contains. I hope you enjoy it too!
Golden City
By the Brothers Frantzich
My momma and my poppa they taught me good
To build a golden city
They showed me the rock where Jesus stood
To build a golden city
So let’s build, let’s build
Build a golden city
Where the hills of my heart meet the hills of yours’
We’ll build a golden city
Where hope is a hammer and love is a nail
build a golden city
in the mosque, in the temple, in the church, in the jail
To build a golden city
Rise up, rise up, rise up dry bones
build a golden city
we can’t do this thing alone
to build a golden city
We’ll post these words on the tavern door
build a golden city
we will not make our peace with war
to build a golden city
like the blind man who began to shout
build a golden city
I will not be shamed as I reach out…..
to build a golden city
So let’s build, let’s build
Build a golden city
Where the hills of my heart meet the hills of yours’
We’ll build a golden city
Right on! For more information on Timothy and his music check out www.brothersf.com
All lyrics copyright the Brothers Frantzich
I can't tell you how many times I've walked in tired, off- centered, and maybe even a little snarky and floated out with my heart full of love.
But at LHSC, it's the music that really shines.
A few weeks ago we were treated to artist Timothy Frantzich who sang and played guitar with his heart. His lyrics were very clever! I was especially taken with the following song and the imagry it contains. I hope you enjoy it too!
Golden City
By the Brothers Frantzich
My momma and my poppa they taught me good
To build a golden city
They showed me the rock where Jesus stood
To build a golden city
So let’s build, let’s build
Build a golden city
Where the hills of my heart meet the hills of yours’
We’ll build a golden city
Where hope is a hammer and love is a nail
build a golden city
in the mosque, in the temple, in the church, in the jail
To build a golden city
Rise up, rise up, rise up dry bones
build a golden city
we can’t do this thing alone
to build a golden city
We’ll post these words on the tavern door
build a golden city
we will not make our peace with war
to build a golden city
like the blind man who began to shout
build a golden city
I will not be shamed as I reach out…..
to build a golden city
So let’s build, let’s build
Build a golden city
Where the hills of my heart meet the hills of yours’
We’ll build a golden city
Right on! For more information on Timothy and his music check out www.brothersf.com
All lyrics copyright the Brothers Frantzich
Jul 10, 2009
The Matrix
Today is the beginning of the Matrix Energetics seminar! For those of you who are unfamiliar with my work, I am a Matrix Energetics Practitioner. Dr. Richard Bartlett (teacher of ME)is coming to my home town of Minneapolis and I am staffing the event. I'll be assisting with check-in, practice sessions, and making sure everyone experiences what Matrix Energetics feels like. I am so excited!
So what is the Matrix? I am asked that a lot. And I admit, the more I learn, the less I realize I know. It's like one of those great Buddhist riddles where once the student stops seeking and becomes then he knows all. But I acknowledge that this type of enigmatic answer doesn't answer the mind's questions.
The language we use to talk about it is scientific- specifically the language of quantum and scalar physics. That's a start in understanding, but lots of folks do not naturally think in that way- myself included! It took me a long time to get my head around Matrix Energetics and even longer to speak about it- even though I was feeling it and experiencing transformations.
Remember the movie The Matrix? The first time I saw it, I was pissed, because I watched the whole damn thing trying to understand it and didn't get it. That always makes me mad! The next time I watched it- post Matrix Energetics knowledge- I nodded my head in agreement the whole time. It's sort of like that, from a conceptual view.
Remember? Neo woke up and realized he was living in a simulated virtual dream reality. Essentially then, he had the ability to create a new experience. I love that scene where he is so sure of himself that he puts out his hand to stop the bullets flying at him and they fall to the floor. Awesome!
How does that translate to this system of healing and transformation? Well, to quote Inigo Montoya from one of my favorite movies, The Princess Bride- I sum up. (I got that movie. Ha Ha!) Everything is light and energy. Everything exists as a particle or a wave. Particles would appear to be solid- me, you, the table. Waves are possibility. And everything is always changing.
Zero Point Field is what scientists call the energetic space where all possibilities exist. Its full of waves! It has also been referred to the Mind of God, the Universe, and the Akasha. That's the matrix- and it's holding everything together. It's The Force, for you Star Wars people out there.
So when we access this matrix, we connect with the wave that aligns with what is needed to shift so a new and more congruent possibility can manifest itself . (This works in part due to the Principle of Entanglement and the Observer Effect for you science people out there. ) And since everything is connected: body, mind, spirit, finances, health, relationships and every other detail of life- one small shift can effect change on all levels. The potential for transformation is huge.
But, really, who cares about this science stuff? Results are what speak loudest, right?
My favorite and most useful of application is at home. In Matrix Energetics we learn how to time travel. When my 14 month old bumps her head or gets her fingers crunched, I pick her up and zoom back to 5 minutes earlier before she got hurt. She invariably immediately stops crying. Cool huh?
I've had some amazing experiences in my personal work and with clients. It's really quite mind blowing. And fun! That is the best part. Matrix Energetics is FUN! (What's not fun about time traveling and playing with invisibility shields and working with superhero archetypes?)
I could go on, but I won't-today. If this has piqued your interest, check out the following:
http://www.integratehealingarts.com/matrix.html (my website)
http://www.matrixenergetics.com/ (the official site)
and the book by Dr. Richard Bartlett: Matrix Energetics The Science and Art of Transformation.
So what is the Matrix? I am asked that a lot. And I admit, the more I learn, the less I realize I know. It's like one of those great Buddhist riddles where once the student stops seeking and becomes then he knows all. But I acknowledge that this type of enigmatic answer doesn't answer the mind's questions.
The language we use to talk about it is scientific- specifically the language of quantum and scalar physics. That's a start in understanding, but lots of folks do not naturally think in that way- myself included! It took me a long time to get my head around Matrix Energetics and even longer to speak about it- even though I was feeling it and experiencing transformations.
Remember the movie The Matrix? The first time I saw it, I was pissed, because I watched the whole damn thing trying to understand it and didn't get it. That always makes me mad! The next time I watched it- post Matrix Energetics knowledge- I nodded my head in agreement the whole time. It's sort of like that, from a conceptual view.
Remember? Neo woke up and realized he was living in a simulated virtual dream reality. Essentially then, he had the ability to create a new experience. I love that scene where he is so sure of himself that he puts out his hand to stop the bullets flying at him and they fall to the floor. Awesome!
How does that translate to this system of healing and transformation? Well, to quote Inigo Montoya from one of my favorite movies, The Princess Bride- I sum up. (I got that movie. Ha Ha!) Everything is light and energy. Everything exists as a particle or a wave. Particles would appear to be solid- me, you, the table. Waves are possibility. And everything is always changing.
Zero Point Field is what scientists call the energetic space where all possibilities exist. Its full of waves! It has also been referred to the Mind of God, the Universe, and the Akasha. That's the matrix- and it's holding everything together. It's The Force, for you Star Wars people out there.
So when we access this matrix, we connect with the wave that aligns with what is needed to shift so a new and more congruent possibility can manifest itself . (This works in part due to the Principle of Entanglement and the Observer Effect for you science people out there. ) And since everything is connected: body, mind, spirit, finances, health, relationships and every other detail of life- one small shift can effect change on all levels. The potential for transformation is huge.
But, really, who cares about this science stuff? Results are what speak loudest, right?
My favorite and most useful of application is at home. In Matrix Energetics we learn how to time travel. When my 14 month old bumps her head or gets her fingers crunched, I pick her up and zoom back to 5 minutes earlier before she got hurt. She invariably immediately stops crying. Cool huh?
I've had some amazing experiences in my personal work and with clients. It's really quite mind blowing. And fun! That is the best part. Matrix Energetics is FUN! (What's not fun about time traveling and playing with invisibility shields and working with superhero archetypes?)
I could go on, but I won't-today. If this has piqued your interest, check out the following:
http://www.integratehealingarts.com/matrix.html (my website)
http://www.matrixenergetics.com/ (the official site)
and the book by Dr. Richard Bartlett: Matrix Energetics The Science and Art of Transformation.
Jul 9, 2009
Archangel Micheal to the Rescue!
I love angels. Learning about them and my guides was one of the very first things that happened when I was experiencing my spiritual awakening. It just feels so good to know we are infinitely protected and have unseen helpers that joyfully help us with all sorts of things.
The Doreen Virtue books are fantastic. Her latest book talks about Archangel Micheal and how he has performed miracles all over the world. Besides being incredibly powerful and an amazing healer, he is also very good at fixing electronic and mechanical things. About 6 months ago I was told by the auto mechanics that my old Saturn possibly had an oil leak (hard to tell in the Minnesota winter) and was burning oil. I was advised to start checking the oil after every gas fill, and more than likely add a quart. I had just read the Archangel Micheal book and asked him to fix it, because a leaky oil burning car is not my idea of fun! (And it is more than likely I would forget to stay on top of things!)
Guess what? I haven't had to add any oil since, except for regular oil changes. This was a car that was needing a quart of oil every 2-3 weeks!
A few days ago I was driving and smelled something funny... and after a few blocks deduced it was my car. It was a hot day, and it seemed like maybe something was burning. At the stop sign I noticed some smoke escaping from the hood. Well, that was inconvenient! It was 90 degrees and I had my baby girl with me. So I said a quick prayer, "Archangel Micheal, please help me and fix my car!" Within two blocks the smell was gone. The steam had stopped. In fact my heat gauge swung from being to the 3/4 of the way to the dreaded overheated mark to the first quarter of the gauge!
How cool is that? If all of this is new and interesting to you, I urge you to read Divine Guidance by Doreen Virtue. It may change your life as it did mine! And don't hesitate to ask for help! Our angelic friends are always there for us, and love to assist in all ways!
The Doreen Virtue books are fantastic. Her latest book talks about Archangel Micheal and how he has performed miracles all over the world. Besides being incredibly powerful and an amazing healer, he is also very good at fixing electronic and mechanical things. About 6 months ago I was told by the auto mechanics that my old Saturn possibly had an oil leak (hard to tell in the Minnesota winter) and was burning oil. I was advised to start checking the oil after every gas fill, and more than likely add a quart. I had just read the Archangel Micheal book and asked him to fix it, because a leaky oil burning car is not my idea of fun! (And it is more than likely I would forget to stay on top of things!)
Guess what? I haven't had to add any oil since, except for regular oil changes. This was a car that was needing a quart of oil every 2-3 weeks!
A few days ago I was driving and smelled something funny... and after a few blocks deduced it was my car. It was a hot day, and it seemed like maybe something was burning. At the stop sign I noticed some smoke escaping from the hood. Well, that was inconvenient! It was 90 degrees and I had my baby girl with me. So I said a quick prayer, "Archangel Micheal, please help me and fix my car!" Within two blocks the smell was gone. The steam had stopped. In fact my heat gauge swung from being to the 3/4 of the way to the dreaded overheated mark to the first quarter of the gauge!
How cool is that? If all of this is new and interesting to you, I urge you to read Divine Guidance by Doreen Virtue. It may change your life as it did mine! And don't hesitate to ask for help! Our angelic friends are always there for us, and love to assist in all ways!
Jul 8, 2009
Vespa Vibrations
It's worth mentioning that this tendency to be in the future isn't helpful to manifesting either. I think we all have a tendency to put things "out there" somewhere in the distant, unknown future. I thought about this a lot before succumbing to the aforementioned nap post extreme check- in- how the concept of being in the now appears to be at odds with manifesting what you want in the future.
I mean, there you are, wanting to pay off your credit card so you can buy a Vespa scooter. You have the picture cut out and stuck on the fridge, you have picked out the color, and even contemplated which sort of helmet would be the most fabulous. And then that darn credit card bill comes. And so you do the math (if I pay $xxx for X months by next summer I can have the scooter!) and when a sexy little scooter passes you by you get a happy grin but sigh wistfully "That's me next summer."
How many times have you heard or yourself said something like the following?
When I win the lottery, I will go on vacation.
I will buy that dress when I lose 20 pounds.
I can't afford that until after my car is paid off.
I am too busy to take a dance class. Maybe next fall, when things calm down.
When I have more money, I will give some to charity.
Guess what? None of those things are happening anytime soon. Why? Because they are not in the NOW. See the trick to manifesting is being totally present and still feeling like you have, are or are doing that thing that you desire. Even in it's absence, you feel like it's already there. And you are centered and calm in knowing that it IS on it's way, and it doesn't even matter that it isn't there right now, because you are having such a fun time enjoying the thoughts about this wonderful thing that you are not even the least bit bothered by its absence.
Your focus is on what you want, and not what you don't want or observe in your present reality. (The debt, the messy house, 20 lbs, etc.)
The Universe then matches your feelings (I am successful, I am living a wonderful relationship, I am healthy) with the circumstances that bring about what you desire.
That's when the magic starts to happen.
It's a lot like a game of pretend that kids play. In fact, it requires that same sort of intensity and abandonment that children do so naturally when they make believe. They put on the tablecloth and SWOOSH! They are a super hero. And in that moment nothing else could convince them otherwise.
Sounds like a lovely invitation to play doesn't it?
I could open a discussion about frequency, vibration and aligning yourself to your desires, and you can bet your life I will! It's one of my favorite subjects. But for now, I am off for a spin on my lovely bird's egg blue Vespa, to pick up bagels and coffee.
Vrrrrrrrmm! Vrrrrrrrmm! Ciao Ciao!
I mean, there you are, wanting to pay off your credit card so you can buy a Vespa scooter. You have the picture cut out and stuck on the fridge, you have picked out the color, and even contemplated which sort of helmet would be the most fabulous. And then that darn credit card bill comes. And so you do the math (if I pay $xxx for X months by next summer I can have the scooter!) and when a sexy little scooter passes you by you get a happy grin but sigh wistfully "That's me next summer."
How many times have you heard or yourself said something like the following?
When I win the lottery, I will go on vacation.
I will buy that dress when I lose 20 pounds.
I can't afford that until after my car is paid off.
I am too busy to take a dance class. Maybe next fall, when things calm down.
When I have more money, I will give some to charity.
Guess what? None of those things are happening anytime soon. Why? Because they are not in the NOW. See the trick to manifesting is being totally present and still feeling like you have, are or are doing that thing that you desire. Even in it's absence, you feel like it's already there. And you are centered and calm in knowing that it IS on it's way, and it doesn't even matter that it isn't there right now, because you are having such a fun time enjoying the thoughts about this wonderful thing that you are not even the least bit bothered by its absence.
Your focus is on what you want, and not what you don't want or observe in your present reality. (The debt, the messy house, 20 lbs, etc.)
The Universe then matches your feelings (I am successful, I am living a wonderful relationship, I am healthy) with the circumstances that bring about what you desire.
That's when the magic starts to happen.
It's a lot like a game of pretend that kids play. In fact, it requires that same sort of intensity and abandonment that children do so naturally when they make believe. They put on the tablecloth and SWOOSH! They are a super hero. And in that moment nothing else could convince them otherwise.
Sounds like a lovely invitation to play doesn't it?
I could open a discussion about frequency, vibration and aligning yourself to your desires, and you can bet your life I will! It's one of my favorite subjects. But for now, I am off for a spin on my lovely bird's egg blue Vespa, to pick up bagels and coffee.
Vrrrrrrrmm! Vrrrrrrrmm! Ciao Ciao!
Jul 7, 2009
R.I.P. Micheal Jackson
We have been on Micheal Jackson vigil at our house. The CNN broadcast, the 1993 concert DVD (how did he dance like that?), the Greatest Hits CD. I was even treated to a little fancy footwork by my partner in tall scrunchy white socks and black work shoes. Good times.
It's no secret that Micheal Jackson was lonely and had an incredible need to feel unconditional love. These are his words in an interview with Rabbi Shmuley Boteach:
"I am going to say something I have never said before and this is the truth. I have no reason to lie to you and God knows I am telling the truth. I think all my success and fame, and I have wanted it, I have wanted it because I wanted to be loved. That's all. That's the real truth. I wanted people to love me, truly love me, because I never really felt loved. I said I know I have an ability. Maybe if I sharpened my craft, maybe people will love me more. I just wanted to be loved, because I think it is very important to be loved and to tell people that you love them and to look in their eyes and say it."
You can read the entire post at:
http://dennisprager.townhall.com/content/81c56ddf-a8d5-4de3-81fa-38d22b5ef001
This has got me thinking, especially in reference to my upbringing and first hand knowledge of the incredible power that religion has to create cavernous wounds in the psyche. I was disfellowshipped from JW's (excommunicated if you will) and it took me 4 years to be able to fall asleep at night without fear of dying at Armageddon- the proverbial end of the world- because I was a sinner. And 5 more years to get up the courage do some online research about JWs and realize that I had been lied to! 3 more years to get over being really f*&%$ing angry. And the process continues on, as I identify things that were programmed in my head that aren't aligned with love, and that tell me I am not good or worthy.
I suspect that there are a lot of people out there with a gnawing in their stomachs that something just isn't right, that they don't deserve love or goodness, and that they are wrong, because someone- a parent, the Church, whoever- told them so.
That needs to change. Too many people are suffering in silence. The world needs love. We need healing. And it needs to start at home.
I suspect MJ knew that too, but never could quite get it right.
Today I add this post to the millions of people around the world who are mourning the loss of one of the greatest musicians and performers of our time.
Return to peace, brother Micheal.
Micheal was reared Jehovah's Witness. Me too. I remember going to the St Paul district convention the summer before 4th grade and all the teens were wearing white gloves. There was lots of discussion among the attendees whether it was OK, because it was "worldly". On the other hand (no pun intended!) Micheal was a JW himself. So it couldn't be wrong, right? There was an air of permissiveness about the whole subject.
A sister who went to our small South Dakota congregation used to go to the same congregation in Las Vegas as the Jacksons in the 1970's. She said the limo would pull up, and they would file in with their bodyguards and sit in the back row that had been reserved for them and then file out when the meeting was over without talking to anyone.It's no secret that Micheal Jackson was lonely and had an incredible need to feel unconditional love. These are his words in an interview with Rabbi Shmuley Boteach:
"I am going to say something I have never said before and this is the truth. I have no reason to lie to you and God knows I am telling the truth. I think all my success and fame, and I have wanted it, I have wanted it because I wanted to be loved. That's all. That's the real truth. I wanted people to love me, truly love me, because I never really felt loved. I said I know I have an ability. Maybe if I sharpened my craft, maybe people will love me more. I just wanted to be loved, because I think it is very important to be loved and to tell people that you love them and to look in their eyes and say it."
You can read the entire post at:
http://dennisprager.townhall.com/content/81c56ddf-a8d5-4de3-81fa-38d22b5ef001
This has got me thinking, especially in reference to my upbringing and first hand knowledge of the incredible power that religion has to create cavernous wounds in the psyche. I was disfellowshipped from JW's (excommunicated if you will) and it took me 4 years to be able to fall asleep at night without fear of dying at Armageddon- the proverbial end of the world- because I was a sinner. And 5 more years to get up the courage do some online research about JWs and realize that I had been lied to! 3 more years to get over being really f*&%$ing angry. And the process continues on, as I identify things that were programmed in my head that aren't aligned with love, and that tell me I am not good or worthy.
I suspect that there are a lot of people out there with a gnawing in their stomachs that something just isn't right, that they don't deserve love or goodness, and that they are wrong, because someone- a parent, the Church, whoever- told them so.
That needs to change. Too many people are suffering in silence. The world needs love. We need healing. And it needs to start at home.
I suspect MJ knew that too, but never could quite get it right.
Today I add this post to the millions of people around the world who are mourning the loss of one of the greatest musicians and performers of our time.
Return to peace, brother Micheal.
Jul 6, 2009
Better a Day Early than a Day Late
Another Italy post follows:
I arrived with plenty of extra time for my check-in at the airport- 24 hours early! It's a funny thing because I had been thinking about how easy it to get wrapped up in the future. I used to be a slave to the past. I had a drum to beat about betrayal, the injustice of my life and the pain of loss which was recounted with a sense of irony and (I admit it) pleasure. I was a SURVIVOR, damn it! (I knew I had arrived to a lighter and healthier place when I met my partner and didn't care a bit to explain my sad ole past to him. It was so last year!)
The next frontier: being in the present. We've all heard these and other gems "Today is a gift, that's why it's called the present." "No time like the present!" "(K)now now." And how many movies have extolled the virtues of being in the now? Seize the day! No day like today! (Bonus if you remember which ones!) Virtually every sacred path, all the wise ones and Masters have spoken of the resulting peace and harmony that comes from being in the NOW.
But knowing and being is a whole different box of crackers.
It came to my attention when I realized that for the last week of my Italy trip I was ready to come home. In fact I spent a lot time thinking about what I would do and how I would start acupuncture and what routes to walk with my baby. I even planned a dinner party! Then I thought, WHOA, cowgirl! You are in Italy! Enjoy the moment! I tend to do stuff like this. I think everyone does. I fantasize about the next trip while on vacation, struggle to not create a to do list in the final moments of relaxation pose in yoga, and daydream about what I will do when my little one goes to school. I observe that this isn't very useful or productive at all. I am missing incredible stuff happening right in front of me. Even if nothing especially magnificent appears to be happening, there is a profound sense of serenity that comes from being in the now and just breathing in and out. And how magnificent is that?
Which brings me back to my extreme act of punctuality today. (Let's just call it that, shall we?) I was gifted a whole day! With nothing to do! All bags had been packed, ciao-ciaos and kiss-kisses exchanged, and the whole day was waiting to be filled. (Did I mention I got to the airport at 6 a.m. for check-in?) The possibilities were endless. I could take my daughter to the kiddie amusement park. We could go to the beach again. A nap! Seafood! The market? Anything is possible and all is utterly delightful.
We might not do anything. In fact, as I write this, it's raining. Aside from a stroll to the supermarket to buy some clean underwear, I probably won't do too much at all. A chocolate and hazelnut gelato, a glass of white wine, and a game of roll the ball with my baby... And that is perfect!
Jul 5, 2009
Seaside Lunch
The last week in Italy found me without Internet access. So I wrote a few blog entries with intent to publish them once we got home. A week later, and here they are!
Today I had an important realization. But first, some backup information. I am here in Italy visiting "framily" (You know, friends who behave like family for all intents and purposes and so much time has passed that everyone forgets that you're not related by blood anyway. When people ask, it's just easier to say yes, we are related, because explaining it is just too much work.)
Well, I was out with my framily enjoying a wonderful lunch at a 5 star seaside restaurant. The breeze was blowing in off the Mediterranean, the service was impeccable, and the food and wine were delightful. As I was marveling at the beauty of this restaurant and the day- it hit me.
There is a whole category of experiences that I have viewed as outside of myself. What I mean by that my Italian framily has a fare share of pocket change and while I have had some gorgeous experiences with them, I have viewed these beautiful things and opportunities as because of them.
I know that if you can dream it, think it, and feel it, it can be yours. It is one of the principles of the Law of Attraction. But what about when you don't even consider something to be possible for you so it doesn't even enter your realm of consciousness?
I grew up poor so there is a lot of deprogramming I've been doing along my journey. Ideas like you only get nice things as gifts from other people. Holidays are things that rich people take. (I had my first vacation at age 22!) Our family doesn't buy new cars. It is not OK to ask for something you want. We get our things from other people as hand me downs or garage sales. We can't afford it, and we don't complain about it. That's just our lot in life. We have always been poor. (Implied: And we always will be.)
I could go on but you get the picture. Ultimately there is a feeling of not deserving or being worthy lurking behind those ideas. Working through these insidious belief systems is some of the most intense work I've done and it continues, every day, in the choices I make about how I feel about myself, money, and it's presence in my life. I've made immense strides, and this lovely lunch by the sea showcased another area that I can clean up in my head.
It's not really about having the designer bag or staying in a 5 star hotel or driving a new car. You might not care about Gucci and Prada, or even like traveling. It's about feeling like you can have what you desire. It's about knowing deep inside, without a doubt, that you deserve it. Not because you did anything special, but just because you are alive and that's enough. Ultimately, it is about self love.
I am a Libra, so I like pretty things. And I looovveee to travel. I don't mind roughing it either. But, give me a room at the Hilton with a big fluffy king size bed and a down comforter and 6 pillows and I might never get out of bed! (Except to go to the whirlpool. Or to let in room service.)
So back to my lunch. It was delicious. I let my mind run free with all the new possibilities I hadn't been tuned into before. I could go to a tres chic restaurant in Paris. I could get a Fendi bag! (OK, it's not the first time I've thought about the Fendi bag, I admit!) I could take my family on a fabulous vacation to the Caribbean and stay in wonderful places. Me. No one else "footing the bill" or "paying my way."
I am worthy of my heart's desire! And you, dear reader, are too.
Today I had an important realization. But first, some backup information. I am here in Italy visiting "framily" (You know, friends who behave like family for all intents and purposes and so much time has passed that everyone forgets that you're not related by blood anyway. When people ask, it's just easier to say yes, we are related, because explaining it is just too much work.)
Well, I was out with my framily enjoying a wonderful lunch at a 5 star seaside restaurant. The breeze was blowing in off the Mediterranean, the service was impeccable, and the food and wine were delightful. As I was marveling at the beauty of this restaurant and the day- it hit me.
There is a whole category of experiences that I have viewed as outside of myself. What I mean by that my Italian framily has a fare share of pocket change and while I have had some gorgeous experiences with them, I have viewed these beautiful things and opportunities as because of them.
I know that if you can dream it, think it, and feel it, it can be yours. It is one of the principles of the Law of Attraction. But what about when you don't even consider something to be possible for you so it doesn't even enter your realm of consciousness?
I grew up poor so there is a lot of deprogramming I've been doing along my journey. Ideas like you only get nice things as gifts from other people. Holidays are things that rich people take. (I had my first vacation at age 22!) Our family doesn't buy new cars. It is not OK to ask for something you want. We get our things from other people as hand me downs or garage sales. We can't afford it, and we don't complain about it. That's just our lot in life. We have always been poor. (Implied: And we always will be.)
I could go on but you get the picture. Ultimately there is a feeling of not deserving or being worthy lurking behind those ideas. Working through these insidious belief systems is some of the most intense work I've done and it continues, every day, in the choices I make about how I feel about myself, money, and it's presence in my life. I've made immense strides, and this lovely lunch by the sea showcased another area that I can clean up in my head.
It's not really about having the designer bag or staying in a 5 star hotel or driving a new car. You might not care about Gucci and Prada, or even like traveling. It's about feeling like you can have what you desire. It's about knowing deep inside, without a doubt, that you deserve it. Not because you did anything special, but just because you are alive and that's enough. Ultimately, it is about self love.
I am a Libra, so I like pretty things. And I looovveee to travel. I don't mind roughing it either. But, give me a room at the Hilton with a big fluffy king size bed and a down comforter and 6 pillows and I might never get out of bed! (Except to go to the whirlpool. Or to let in room service.)
So back to my lunch. It was delicious. I let my mind run free with all the new possibilities I hadn't been tuned into before. I could go to a tres chic restaurant in Paris. I could get a Fendi bag! (OK, it's not the first time I've thought about the Fendi bag, I admit!) I could take my family on a fabulous vacation to the Caribbean and stay in wonderful places. Me. No one else "footing the bill" or "paying my way."
I am worthy of my heart's desire! And you, dear reader, are too.
Jul 4, 2009
Freedom
happy Independence day!
I am declaring myself free from the tyranny of negative thoughts.
It's been quite a week! Something's been going on in the planets. I have been, shall we say, crunchy. Or, rather, I have been crunchy and planetary movements have only added fuel to the fire. (Let's take the responsibilty and not place blame, right?)
Last night I got the idea to watch TV. I never watch TV when I am home alone, so when the idea popped in my head, I paid attention. (This happened about 3 minutes after I had specificlly asked my guides to help me with an attitude adjustment and to get me out of my funk.)
Bill Moyers was on PBS. The topic: reality. Now, knowing what I know about how thoughts and emotions create reality, I felt like a kid with chocolate smeared all over her face who got busted for sneaking in the cookie jar. Those thoughts! I am almost embarressed that I had them. But... what an opportunity for growth!
I read somewhere last month "Everything is either a cry out for love or is love expressing itself." Well, after having spent some time mewling I can certainly appreciate love even better now that I know the difference. I have felt the contrast.
The next segment on the show was about how food shelves are having a difficult time meeting the needs of the people in this current economic paradigm. Wow. So here I am with my little dramas and people are wondering how they are going to feed themselves.
Point taken. Go A-team for jolting me out of my BLAAAAAH!
So today I am declaring freedom! I am liberating myself and hope you do the same too!
Have a beautiful day!
I am declaring myself free from the tyranny of negative thoughts.
It's been quite a week! Something's been going on in the planets. I have been, shall we say, crunchy. Or, rather, I have been crunchy and planetary movements have only added fuel to the fire. (Let's take the responsibilty and not place blame, right?)
Last night I got the idea to watch TV. I never watch TV when I am home alone, so when the idea popped in my head, I paid attention. (This happened about 3 minutes after I had specificlly asked my guides to help me with an attitude adjustment and to get me out of my funk.)
Bill Moyers was on PBS. The topic: reality. Now, knowing what I know about how thoughts and emotions create reality, I felt like a kid with chocolate smeared all over her face who got busted for sneaking in the cookie jar. Those thoughts! I am almost embarressed that I had them. But... what an opportunity for growth!
I read somewhere last month "Everything is either a cry out for love or is love expressing itself." Well, after having spent some time mewling I can certainly appreciate love even better now that I know the difference. I have felt the contrast.
The next segment on the show was about how food shelves are having a difficult time meeting the needs of the people in this current economic paradigm. Wow. So here I am with my little dramas and people are wondering how they are going to feed themselves.
Point taken. Go A-team for jolting me out of my BLAAAAAH!
So today I am declaring freedom! I am liberating myself and hope you do the same too!
Have a beautiful day!
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