A Crash Course

On Sunday at Lake Harriet Spiritual Community the topic was conflict resolution. I have to admit, I missed that set of skills as a child. I grew up in a "my way or the highway" household. As a peacekeeping Libra, I didn't even dare create conflict.

This beautiful woman got up and shared an experience she had, based on 2 simple and yet so powerful questions from A Course in Miracles:

Is it love or a cry for love?
Do I want to be right or be happy?

She came home after school very excited to see her mother. "Hi Mom!" Her mother replied with "You're looking fat." She paused, weighing (no pun intended!) the situation. (Do I want to be right? Or happy? Is this a cry for love, or love?) and said "You are right. I think I have gained some weight. Now that you mention it, things are fitting a little tighter. But look at you! You look fabulous! How do you do it?"

WOW. I am so inspired by that story. I am pretty sure that I would not meet the "you are fat" comment with the same grace. Or even come close to it.

Today I got a perfect opportunity to try it out for myself with my partner. No, he didn't tell me I was looking fat, but he did take something I said personally because I didn't say it in a way that he needed to hear it. Instead of getting into ALL OF THAT STUFF, I just said, "I am so sorry I said it wrong. I will say it this way next time. Let's do things differently next time."

It worked beautifully.