The End

Last night at 3:48 a.m. I finished I'm Perfect, You're Doomed- Tales of a Jehovah's Witness Upbringing. I cracked the book open at 1:00 to read "just a little bit" before bed. I should have known better. I have this game I play- I will read until the end of the chapter. OK, just one more. Another and then I will go to bed. What's this? Only 50 pages left? OK, I am going to finish it tonight.

So I did. I haven't devoured a book like that since The Mistress of Spices was gifted to me (the fabulous S strikes again!) when I was pregnant. Nor have I had the time or energy, I may add. There is a reason why I read mainly non-fiction before bed, and even then it's a toss up.

I digress.

The book takes a downward spiral- fast. The writing is still brilliant, but the story doesn't. It is heartwrenching and terrible, despite the veil of humor and sarcasm it is delivered through. It touches on a lot of issues that are JW/cult specific, like having no idea about how to operate in the real world, social ineptitude, inability to make decisions based on being discouraged from all original thought, and the overwhelming desire to numb it all away when the guilt and the pain become too much.

I remember that no man's land very well- you can't go back because it would be inconceivable to return to prison and yet you have no idea how to go forward because you have no idea who you are, how you feel or what you want. Critical thinking and self knowledge skills are not encouraged and stripped away at their first budding. We were counseled against being independent, haughty, and making decisions without Jehovah God's help. Blinded by the light of freedom you feel paralized by fear, numb and broken.

Kyria's story is well told, honest, and a very accurate picture of the process of "leaving Jehovah". I am so glad she wrote it, as this story needed to be told. I have been wanting to tell it for a while now, and last night, at 3:48 a.m. I realized that my story to share with the world begins exactly where Kyria's leaves off.

The road home.