R.I.P. Micheal Jackson

We have been on Micheal Jackson vigil at our house. The CNN broadcast, the 1993 concert DVD (how did he dance like that?), the Greatest Hits CD. I was even treated to a little fancy footwork by my partner in tall scrunchy white socks and black work shoes. Good times.

Micheal was reared Jehovah's Witness. Me too. I remember going to the St Paul district convention the summer before 4th grade and all the teens were wearing white gloves. There was lots of discussion among the attendees whether it was OK, because it was "worldly". On the other hand (no pun intended!) Micheal was a JW himself. So it couldn't be wrong, right? There was an air of permissiveness about the whole subject.

A sister who went to our small South Dakota congregation used to go to the same congregation in Las Vegas as the Jacksons in the 1970's. She said the limo would pull up, and they would file in with their bodyguards and sit in the back row that had been reserved for them and then file out when the meeting was over without talking to anyone.

It's no secret that Micheal Jackson was lonely and had an incredible need to feel unconditional love. These are his words in an interview with Rabbi Shmuley Boteach:

"I am going to say something I have never said before and this is the truth. I have no reason to lie to you and God knows I am telling the truth. I think all my success and fame, and I have wanted it, I have wanted it because I wanted to be loved. That's all. That's the real truth. I wanted people to love me, truly love me, because I never really felt loved. I said I know I have an ability. Maybe if I sharpened my craft, maybe people will love me more. I just wanted to be loved, because I think it is very important to be loved and to tell people that you love them and to look in their eyes and say it."

You can read the entire post at:

http://dennisprager.townhall.com/content/81c56ddf-a8d5-4de3-81fa-38d22b5ef001


This has got me thinking, especially in reference to my upbringing and first hand knowledge of the incredible power that religion has to create cavernous wounds in the psyche. I was disfellowshipped from JW's (excommunicated if you will) and it took me 4 years to be able to fall asleep at night without fear of dying at Armageddon- the proverbial end of the world- because I was a sinner. And 5 more years to get up the courage do some online research about JWs and realize that I had been lied to! 3 more years to get over being really f*&%$ing angry. And the process continues on, as I identify things that were programmed in my head that aren't aligned with love, and that tell me I am not good or worthy.

I suspect that there are a lot of people out there with a gnawing in their stomachs that something just isn't right, that they don't deserve love or goodness, and that they are wrong, because someone- a parent, the Church, whoever- told them so.

That needs to change. Too many people are suffering in silence. The world needs love. We need healing. And it needs to start at home.

I suspect MJ knew that too, but never could quite get it right.

Today I add this post to the millions of people around the world who are mourning the loss of one of the greatest musicians and performers of our time.

Return to peace, brother Micheal.