A Perfect Day

Here's my dream day, everyday :

1. Wake up lazily in bed, turn on the coffee part and crawl back in bed. When coffee is done, pour a cup and return to bed, lavishly pondering and creating the day.
2. Meditate and visualize the most fabulous life I can conjure up with gratitude for what I have in the now.
3. Do an hour or so of yoga or go for a run.
4. Shower, using yummy products for body and hair.
5. Breakfast a la Europa (bread, tea, yogurt, muesli, egg, etc).
6. Open the Akashic Records and ask questions like "What do I need to know about today?" and whatever else intrigues me.
7. See clients, write, and/or work on one of my many creative projects.
8. Take a break and do a self balancing and healing Reiki session, which may or may not end up in a nap.
9. A wonderful meal involving some sort of international cuisine made with mostly healthy, organic and local foods. (Mostly, because international and local are seemingly at odds.)
10. A few minutes to just sit and be and watch the sun set.
11. A journaling session to record what I felt, saw, and experienced during the day.
12. Reading time.
13. Sleep.

Well, that's a lot to do in one day. Even when I was single, living alone, and unemployed I couldn't do all that stuff in one day. Now I am in partnership, have a child and a lot more responsibilities. It seems like life is like a balloon- if you grab and squeeze it in one place it bulges out in another. If I clean my house from top to bottom one day, that means that I won't have time to do something else I'd like to do.

For a long time this felt very wrong to me, and I felt wrong because I couldn't get it all done- time for my family, myself, to cook healthy meals, exercise, clean the house, be creative, and work. Not to mention hang out with my fabulous friends. Whew! I get tired just thinking about it.

I realized where this came from the other day. Drum roll... it was my upbringing! My mother could never sit still and relax. She grew up on a farm, with crops and animals and 10 kids. Also, I was reared Jehovah's Witness. Added to her ingrained work habits we JWs had a mental programming directed towards never losing your vigilance. Ever. Phrases like "Keep your eyes on the prize!" "Walk with a Purpose!" and metaphors about drifting boats that found themselves alone in the middle of the ocean were par for the course. We were counseled about becoming complacent, ambivalent and lackadaisical. Yes, those words exactly. Whole sermons on being lackadaisical, I kid you not. There was a holy race to be run and if you didn't keep at it, all of the time, you were as good as an "unbeliever" and we all knew what what going to happen to them- yep, the old 1-2, pow in the kisser- death at Armageddon!

Unraveling from these unhealthy ideas took some time. It still amazes me when I catch myself pushing and recenter myself again, how all pervasive these ideas can be. It's OK to stop and call it a day or just sit and do nothing all day.

With that, I think I am going to take a nap.