Seaside Lunch

The last week in Italy found me without Internet access. So I wrote a few blog entries with intent to publish them once we got home. A week later, and here they are!


Today I had an important realization. But first, some backup information. I am here in Italy visiting "framily" (You know, friends who behave like family for all intents and purposes and so much time has passed that everyone forgets that you're not related by blood anyway. When people ask, it's just easier to say yes, we are related, because explaining it is just too much work.)
Well, I was out with my framily enjoying a wonderful lunch at a 5 star seaside restaurant. The breeze was blowing in off the Mediterranean, the service was impeccable, and the food and wine were delightful. As I was marveling at the beauty of this restaurant and the day- it hit me.

There is a whole category of experiences that I have viewed as outside of myself. What I mean by that my Italian framily has a fare share of pocket change and while I have had some gorgeous experiences with them, I have viewed these beautiful things and opportunities as because of them.

I know that if you can dream it, think it, and feel it, it can be yours. It is one of the principles of the Law of Attraction. But what about when you don't even consider something to be possible for you so it doesn't even enter your realm of consciousness?

I grew up poor so there is a lot of deprogramming I've been doing along my journey. Ideas like you only get nice things as gifts from other people. Holidays are things that rich people take. (I had my first vacation at age 22!) Our family doesn't buy new cars. It is not OK to ask for something you want. We get our things from other people as hand me downs or garage sales. We can't afford it, and we don't complain about it. That's just our lot in life. We have always been poor. (Implied: And we always will be.)

I could go on but you get the picture. Ultimately there is a feeling of not deserving or being worthy lurking behind those ideas. Working through these insidious belief systems is some of the most intense work I've done and it continues, every day, in the choices I make about how I feel about myself, money, and it's presence in my life. I've made immense strides, and this lovely lunch by the sea showcased another area that I can clean up in my head.

It's not really about having the designer bag or staying in a 5 star hotel or driving a new car. You might not care about Gucci and Prada, or even like traveling. It's about feeling like you can have what you desire. It's about knowing deep inside, without a doubt, that you deserve it. Not because you did anything special, but just because you are alive and that's enough. Ultimately, it is about self love.

I am a Libra, so I like pretty things. And I looovveee to travel. I don't mind roughing it either. But, give me a room at the Hilton with a big fluffy king size bed and a down comforter and 6 pillows and I might never get out of bed! (Except to go to the whirlpool. Or to let in room service.)

So back to my lunch. It was delicious. I let my mind run free with all the new possibilities I hadn't been tuned into before. I could go to a tres chic restaurant in Paris. I could get a Fendi bag! (OK, it's not the first time I've thought about the Fendi bag, I admit!) I could take my family on a fabulous vacation to the Caribbean and stay in wonderful places. Me. No one else "footing the bill" or "paying my way."

I am worthy of my heart's desire! And you, dear reader, are too.